Dystopian Handmaid’s Tale is About the Democrats

The Left tries to blame Republicans for many things, many of which backfire constantly. Here is one example… the Handmaid’s Tale. They try to paint the religious right as the villain in that dystopian story, however, the Left loves dystopian terms.

  • “chest-feeding” instead of “breast feeding”… we get terms like “uterus havers” and “menstruators” instead of “woman”… we get the term “birthing bodies” instead of “pregnant woman” or “expectant mother”. Even the term “mother” itself is thrown out the door in this “re-orientation” of language. As a result, you have masses of women who are forced to silently accept this new corpus of terminology in which they themselves as women no longer exist. There is no upside for women in losing the words they need to talk about their bodies, their needs and their rights. (REDDIT)
  • US President Biden’s $6 trillion federal-budget proposal has attracted flak after it omitted the term pregnant mothers with “birthing people,” sparking condemnation with respect to the gender inclusivity, as well as among the women. The administration’s Maternal Health Guidance in the 2022 fiscal year budget included a public health document that addressed efforts to “reduce maternal mortality rates and end race-based disparities in maternal mortality.” (REPUBLIC WORLD)
  • Women’s March referred to female members of parliament as ‘menstruators’ (DAILY MAIL)
  • Australian National University’s latest “gender-inclusive handbook” instructs staff to use only “parent-inclusive language” when discussing labor, delivery and post-partum care, including replacing words like “breast-feeding” with “chest-feeding” and swapping “breast milk” for “chest milk” or “human milk” to avoid offending the…er, anomalously gendered. The guidelines also suggest replacing “mother” and “father” with “gestational” and “nongestational” parent. While the handbook notes that the vast majority of people idetify as “mothers” and fathers” “using these terms alone to describe parenthood excludes those who do not identify with gender-binaries.” (MRCTV)

DENNIS PRAGER:

The West has gone through many eras — the so-called Dark Ages, the Renaissance, the Age of Reason, the Enlightenment, the Industrial Age and the Post-Modern. The present era is the Age of the Absurd.

In terms of the absurdities the cultural elites believe, and have convinced masses of people to believe, there has never been a time like today.

Here is a list of the most ridiculous that immediately come to mind.

No. 1: Men give birth.

Heading the list has to be the radical redefinition — indeed, denial of — sex and gender, leading to such reality-defying statements as “men give birth,” “men menstruate,” “birthing person” instead of “mother,” and to the Disney theme parks no longer greeting visitors as “ladies and gentlemen” or “boys and girls.”

No. 2: It is fair to allow biological men to compete in women’s sports.

We are supposed to believe that biological men do not have an innate physical advantage in competing against women. This is asserted as truth by every Ivy League university, virtually every other university, most high schools and by virtually all the elite media.

CHRISTIAN POST:

In a Nov. 8 tweet, Harvard Medical School’s Postgraduate and Continuing Education proclaimed that “Globally, ethnic minority pregnant and birthing people suffer worse outcomes and experiences during and after pregnancy and childbirth” as it promoted a panel discussion about “Maternal Justice.”

The use of the term “birthing people” to describe women resulted in negative reactions from many commenters.

“During slavery black women were referred to as breeders. This experiment to dehumanize women & to deconstruct us into nothing more than holes & body parts for men to use, started with black women. This is regressive and not progressive. Stop perpetuating this nonsense!”….

NEWSBUSTERS:

….Anyways, this is what happens when you get so woke. NARAL must realize it can’t even claim the feminist angle to cover for their love of baby killing anymore. So much for women’s reproductive rights, it’s now “birthing persons’” reproductive rights.

Of course, for inclusive liberals, this new definition allows for trans men (biological women) to get pregnant and consider themselves “pregnant men.” Actually, it’s even less specific than that. It allows non-binary people with uteruses – still biological women – to feel included without having to suffer the indignity of being referred to as they biologically are. So, yes, genderless humans by definition can give birth, and since this is NARAL, genderless humans get abortions now, too!

Since we are all so busy trying to wrap our heads around this warp speed jump forward in human enlightenment, several conservative commentators stepped in and made it clear for the rest of us just how stupid NARAL’s tweet was.

 

NEW YORK POST

There’s a new addition to the list of words you can no longer say: woman.

Because 0.6 percent of the adult population is transgender, the word must be banished outright for the sake of inclusivity. And it’s not just activist Twitter users or gender studies professors who are taking note. Suddenly, our institutions have scrapped the word “woman” altogether.

The news media is on board: CNN tweeted that “individuals with a cervix are now recommended to start cervical cancer screening at 25.” The new rule is being embraced by medical practices: gynecology clinic chain Tia advertised their services on TikTok to “uterus-having folks.

Abortion providers have taken note: Planned Parenthood offers advice to “people who are pregnant.” Our medical literature is also conforming: the September 2021 cover of the Lancet declared that “historically, the anatomy and physiology of bodies with vaginas have been neglected.”

Public health officials have hopped on the bandwagon: the CDC’s guidance on COVID-19 vaccination refers to “pregnant people.” And it goes all the way to the top of our government: the White House’s 2022 budget referred to mothers as “birthing people.”

The words they’re replacing “woman” with leave a lot to be desired. The list of new lingo goes on and on… menstruators, birthing persons, uterus-owners, vulva-havers, or, worst of all, non-males. What’s more dehumanizing than being reduced to a single aspect of your anatomy?

FAIR PLAY FOR WOMEN:

Menstruators? Uterus-havers? Language matters

…Erasing the words woman and mother is not inclusive

The very words we use to describe ourselves as a sex class are being erased. In media reports, in health campaigns, in human rights organisations, we are seeing the replacement of “woman” or “women” with terms like “menstruator“, “uterus-haver” or “people with a vagina“. Women tell us that they find this dehumanising, not inclusive. Our concern is that it blurs legal issues such as sex discrimination. This can only set women’s equality back. There is no upside for women in losing the words we need to talk about our bodies, our needs and our rights.

REDDIT:

Don’t ever call me a “uterus owner” or a “person with eggs”

Anyone else noticed this common trend, mostly on Internet forums, of people calling women “uterus havers” or “person with a uterus”? I’m not lying when I saw someone refer to women as “person with eggs”.

I’m a woman. Call me a woman ffs. Just say woman. If there is a trans man present, then just say trans man.

REDDIT:

anyone else uncomfortable with words like bleeders, birthing people, uterus havers?

I am wordier in my language but inclusive too. For example:

“Pregnant women and pregnant persons”

“Women and other persons who menstruate”

“Women and others with a uterus”

I am not comfortable erasing the word “women” from our language, mainly because all throughout history, the patriarchy tried to render us invisible. At the same time, I am fine adding language for inclusivity.

ETA: The phrase “women and other persons who menstruate” clearly implies “women who menstruate and other persons who menstruate”. The same goes for “women and others with a uterus”. Had I meant all women, there would have been a comma. For example , “women, and people who menstruate” implies “all women”, but women and persons who menstruate implies two nouns (women and persons) connected specifically to a verb (menstruate). A subset of women and persons. Not all women and all persons.

(500CatsTypingStuff)

 

Lessons From History: Androgyny and Cultural Collapse

Originally Posted Dec 5, 2018

(MOONBATTERY Hat-Tip) Author, art professor, feminist, and cultural commentator Camille Paglia speaks on the current transgender mania, the wisdom of early medical & surgical intervention (calling it “child abuse”), and how the explosion of gender identities is a recurring sign of cultural collapse throughout the history of civilization.

Here is a DAILY SIGNAL article just over a year after the above video:

Feminist and Bernie Sanders supporter Camille Paglia isn’t toeing the liberal party line when it comes to transgenderism.

“The cold biological truth is that sex changes are impossible. Every single cell of the human body remains coded with one’s birth gender for life,” she told The Weekly Standard in an interview published June 15.

The author of “Sexual Personae”, Paglia identifies herself as “a registered Democrat who voted for Bernie Sanders in the 2016 primary and for Jill Stein in the general election.”

“It is certainly ironic how liberals who posture as defenders of science when it comes to global warming (a sentimental myth unsupported by evidence) flee all reference to biology when it comes to gender,” said Paglia.

Ryan Anderson, a senior research fellow at The Heritage Foundation, agrees about the importance of biology to the discussion.

“The best biology, psychology, and philosophy all support an understanding of sex as a bodily reality, and of gender as a social manifestation of bodily sex. Biology isn’t bigotry, and we need a sober and honest assessment of the human costs of getting human nature wrong,” said Anderson, author of the forthcoming book on transgenderism, “When Harry Became Sally.”

Paglia also condemned calls for “special rights, protections, or privileges” for  transgender men and women:

In a democracy, everyone, no matter how nonconformist or eccentric, should be free from harassment and abuse. But at the same time, no one deserves special rights, protections, or privileges on the basis of their eccentricity. The categories ‘trans-man’ and ‘trans-woman’ are highly accurate and deserving of respect. But like Germaine Greer and Sheila Jeffreys, I reject state-sponsored coercion to call someone a ’woman’ or a ‘man’ simply on the basis of his or her subjective feeling about it. We may well take the path of good will and defer to courtesy on such occasions, but it is our choice alone………

More from the MOONBATT!

  • By grooming their children to be sexually deranged from the time they are toddlers, moonbats can guarantee they don’t grow up normal and healthy, which could lead to voting Republican.

Some Billboard Chris Righteous Rants

Epic speech by Billboard Chris, the father who was physically assaulted by a gang of trans people for holding a sign, while being observed by police who stared on and laughed and then proceeded to say it was he who was violent…with his protest sign.

@GEORGE TOWN UNIVERSITY

w/Vivek Ramaswamy

In this episode of The Vivek Show, Vivek Ramaswamy talks to Chris Elston, a father on a mission to protect children from the dangers of gender ideology. Chris discusses his activism journey, the consequences of affirming a child’s gender, and the rarity of true intersex and gender dysphoria cases. They explore the potential harm caused by puberty blockers and discuss the importance of promoting body positivity for children. Chris’ commitment to raising awareness on this issue has led him to engage in conversations across North America, making a difference one conversation at a time.

Chris Elston (aka Billboard Chris) is a dedicated father of two girls and a staunch advocate against gender ideology. Driven by his belief that children should be free to express their true selves without being indoctrinated into harmful ideologies, Chris speaks out against the use of puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones, which he sees as causing physical harm to children. Passionate about informed consent, Chris highlights the High Court in England’s stance that children cannot provide informed consent for these life-altering drugs. Frustrated by the silence of politicians and the media on this issue, Chris has taken matters into his own hands by engaging in conversations across North America to raise awareness and promote honest, open dialogue on gender ideology and its consequences.

Trans Mental Illness and Red Flag Laws (Andy Ngo | Steven Crowder)

UPDATE BELOW ORIGINAL POST ~ JUMP

On March 28, 2023, Andy Ngo spoke with Tucker Carlson about the pipeline to violent radicalization for young transgender people. The interview followed the Nashville church/school mass shooting by a transgender person. Three young children and three school staff were murdered by Audrey “Aiden” Hale, a biological woman who identified as a man.

The entire show on RUMBLE is a must watch: “Nashville Uncensored: The Truth From A To Z! | Louder with Crowder”

WARNING: Rough Language

  • Data indicate that 82% of transgender individuals have considered killing themselves and 40% have attempted suicide, with suicidality highest among transgender youth. Using minority stress theory and the interpersonal theory of suicide, this study aims to better understand suicide risk among transgender youth. (PubMed)
  • When ‘the tumult and shouting dies,’ it proves not easy nor wise to live in a counterfeit sexual garb. The most thorough follow-up of sex-reassigned people—extending over 30 years and conducted in Sweden, where the culture is strongly supportive of the transgendered—documents their lifelong mental unrest. Ten to 15 years after surgical reassignment, the suicide rate of those who had undergone sex-reassignment surgery rose to 20 times that of comparable peers. [….] The study identified increased mortality and psychiatric hospitalization compared to the matched controls. The mortality was primarily due to completed suicides (19.1-fold greater than in control Swedes), but death due to neoplasm and cardiovascular disease was increased 2 to 2.5 times as well. We note, mortality from this patient population did not become apparent until after 10 years. The risk for psychiatric hospitalization was 2.8 times greater than in controls even after adjustment for prior psychiatric disease (18 percent). The risk for attempted suicide was greater in male-to-female patients regardless of the gender of the control. Further, we cannot exclude therapeutic interventions as a cause of the observed excess morbidity and mortality. The study, however, was not constructed to assess the impact of gender reassignment surgery per se. (HERITAGE FOUNDATION)
  • Transgender people have a 42% attempted suicide rate. American slaves & Jews in concentration camps didn’t commit suicide at 19x more than the general population. (STEVEN CROWDER)

EXCERPT:

…FINDINGS

Between 1972 and 2018, 8831 people visited the gender identity clinic. 4263 were excluded from the study for a variety of reasons, and 2927 transgender women and 1641 transgender men were included in the study, with a total follow-up time of 40 232 person-years for transgender women and 17 285 person-years for transgender men. During follow-up, 317 (10·8%) transgender women died, which was higher than expected compared with general population men (SMR 1·8, 95% CI 1·6–2·0) and general population women (SMR 2·8, 2·5–3·1). Cause-specific mortality in transgender women was high for cardiovascular disease, lung cancer, HIV-related disease, and suicide. In transgender men, 44 people (2·7%) died, which was higher than expected compared with general population women (SMR 1·8, 95% CI 1·3–2·4) but not general population men (SMR 1·2, 95% CI 0·9–1·6). Cause-specific death in transgender men was high for non-natural causes of death. No decreasing trend in mortality risk was observed over the five decades studied.

INTERPRETATION

This observational study showed an increased mortality risk in transgender people using hormone treatment, regardless of treatment type. This increased mortality risk did not decrease over time. The cause-specific mortality risk because of lung cancer, cardiovascular disease, HIV-related disease, and suicide gives no indication to a specific effect of hormone treatment, but indicates that monitoring, optimising, and, if necessary, treating medical morbidities and lifestyle factors remain important in transgender health care.

(LANCET)

Killer shot by police: WARNING!


LANGUAGE WARNING


It’s been a while since we’ve done an Emergency Gun Meme Review, but Jesus did you guys flood my inbox with memes after this one so uh…here we go…

Here are a few items more to consider about the violent Left.


UPDATE!


SOMEWHAT RELATED:

PJ-MEDIA has this on a foiled “trans shooter” named William Whitworth. (NOTE: at the POSTMILLENNIAL shows a bit of the manifesto that had Trump’s name on it.):

William Whitworth, a 19-year-old male who claims to be female and goes by the name “Lilly,” has been arrested in Colorado Springs, Colo., after threatening various local schools. Whitworth has been charged with two counts of criminal attempt to commit murder in the first degree, as well as criminal mischief, menacing, and more. His case, following so soon after Audrey Hale, a woman claiming to be male, murdered six people at a Christian school in Nashville, once again raises the question: wouldn’t we be better off treating this “transgender” business as mental illness rather than coddling and celebrating people who suffer from these delusions?

KRDO in Colorado Springs reported Thursday that Whitworth made “threats involving schools in Colorado Springs Academy District 20.” This was where he himself went to school between 2014 and 2016; KRDO adds that “they attended both in-person and the district’s Homeschool Academy.” Whitworth did not have an accomplice; KRDO is referring to him as “they” because Whitworth himself apparently prefers to be referred to in the plural; after all, the demons said long ago, “My name is Legion, for we are many” (Mark 5:9). Curiously, however, KRDO begins referring to Whitworth as “she” and “her” later on in its report.

It is a peculiar manifestation of the madness of our age that even as a mentally ill individual plots to act upon his mental illness by murdering people, those who report on this fact still treat his mental illness as if it were perfectly normal and even torture the English language in order to accommodate it. Apparently, no one at KRDO had the vision or wisdom or simple guts to say, “Hey, this trans kid was just planning to kill people, maybe we shouldn’t coddle him and pretend that he’s in his right mind by referring to him according to the pronouns of his delusion and fantasy.” No one would have dared.

Nevertheless, all was clearly not sane or well at the Whitworth household. Police were first called out to visit the Whitworths last Friday, when they received reports that the sister of the reporting party had “threatened to shoot up a school,” had “anger issues,” and had spoken the day before about “school shooting.” When deputies arrived at the house, according to their report, “someone at the door” told them that “someone inside” was “very upset and punched holes inside the walls,” but nonetheless initially refused to let them in. Eventually, they were let in, however, and found “two holes that appeared to be punch marks in the wall,” as well as a door off its hinges. In a bedroom, they encountered the reporting party’s “sister.” It was “Lilly,” that is, William Whitworth.

When the deputies asked Whitworth if he was planning to shoot up a school, he nodded. When they asked him why he would do such a thing, Whitworth replied: “Why does anyone do it?” He was then asked if he planned this massacre at Timberview Middle School, which he had attended, and he nodded again. Asked why he picked that school, he mumbled: “No specific reason.” He added that he also planned shootings at local churches.

[….]

Authorities also found floor plans of the school and directions for how to build a detonation device. They also found a copy of The Communist Manifesto (well, well, well), a list of weapons and 3D printer instructions, hit lists, and a list of various public figures, including conservative YouTuber Lauren Southern, whom Whitworth described as “Pathetic,” and Donald Trump, whom Whitworth dismissed as a “Con-mam” (sic). “Bad cops,” said Whitworth, were “useless garbage.”

William “Lilly” Whitworth, in sum, is yet another Leftist “trans” would-be mass murderer in a society whose leaders steadfastly ignore the existence of such people and blame their victims. Old Joe Biden, Merrick Garland, and the rest are virtually certain to ignore Whitworth as well since he doesn’t fit their narrative about how “white supremacists” constitute the greatest terror threat the nation faces today. Or if they pay any attention to him at all, it will be to affirm their solidarity with the “transgender community” and scold patriotic Americans once again for daring not to believe that men can become women. William Whitworth isn’t the only mentally ill person in this scenario.

Now, when people post that on Twitter, pictures of “straight white male” shooters or “Christian” shooters appear. But almost 100% of the shooters of the shooters have a hatred for traditional Christianity, are atheists, and are Lefties – politically. (One short list of mine.) Moving on to another example.

Here is the backstory for those who do not know:

Tennessee’s Republican-held House voted Thursday to expel two out of three Democratic members for leading what House leadership called an “insurrection” at the state Capitol last week following Nashville’s school shooting.

The House voted to expel Nashville Rep. Justin Jones 72 to 25 and Memphis Rep. Justin Pearson 69 to 26 for “disorderly conduct” via HR 65 and HR 63 introduced Monday. Jones, Pearson and Knoxville Rep. Gloria Johnson joined a group of gun control protestors in the building last Thursday, and joined in chants via a bullhorn between bills; resolutions to expel the three of them were introduced Monday, according to The Tennessean.

(DAILY CALLER)

This is called using the same definitions the Left uses to paint actions as insurrections. How I put it on my Facebook was

  • “Chickens coming home to roost!”

The violent Left — per Andy Ngô (see one of my examples here):

One comment on that Tweet made a salient point:

Tucker Nails Reason Why ‘Transgenderists’ Hate Christians

Tucker on Why ‘Transgenderists’ Hate Christians: They Refuse to Bow Down & Worship a False Idol

BONUS – BEN SHAPIRO

A TikTok went viral of someone saying that the Nashville shooting victims would be alive today if it weren’t for the “anti-trans bills” passed by the Tennessee legislature. It’s not just TikTokers. Katie Hobbs’s press secretary put out an insane tweet defending the trans community.

Dylan Mulvaney Celebrates “Womanhood” Even Though Still a Man

(ADDED CANDACE OWENS AT THE BOTTOM)

Today on the Matt Walsh Show, infamous male TikToker Dylan Mulvaney has a star-studded extravaganza in New York celebrating his “day 365 of girlhood.” The entire Daily Wire lineup made an appearance during the show. We’ll play the clip and talk about it. Joe Biden lashes out at those who want to protect children from abuse, calling us “sinful.” The president also uses an alleged letter from a child to promote the gender wage gap myth. Netflix quietly cancels its kid’s show featuring a non-binary bison. And in our Daily Cancellation, a conservative author is ruthlessly mocked by the Left for not being able to define the word “woke.” But since when is the Left in any position to make fun of anyone else for not being able to define a word?

PJ-MEDIA has this find:

…..I still haven’t quite recovered from the clip of Drew Barrymore kneeling before Dylan Mulvaney like he’s some sort of god, yet now I have to react to yet another clip featuring Mulvaney that is going viral — though, and this one is a real doozy, too.

This new footage features Mulvaney during an appearance on The Price is Right. And it.. well… just watch it.

Upon watching this video, it becomes abundantly clear that Dylan Mulvaney is an individual who has always sought attention in a rather desperate manner. His flamboyant and over-the-top demeanor, coupled with a disposition reminiscent of the iconic Richard Simmons from Sweatin’ to the Oldies, is embarrassing and apparent.

It is true that contestants on The Price is Right are known to get very excited and even extremely animated, but have you ever seen a contestant engage in the kind of behavior exhibited by Mr. Mulvaney here? Upon winning the game he proceeds to flail around on the floor, prance about on stage, dance, and even fall down, and get back up in dramatic fashion. He literally performs for the cameras for close to a full minute.

According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, patients with gender identity disorder (gender dysphoria) have a disproportionately high frequency of personality disorders. “The frequency of personality disorders was 81.4%. The most frequent personality disorder was narcissistic personality disorder (57.1%) and the least was borderline personality disorder. The average number of diagnoses was 3.00 per patient.”….

BEN SHAPIORO
Dylan Mulvaney has a video from when he was on The Price Is Right a few years ago. If you look closely, it appears he is putting on the same act today as he was then. So, this all an act?

The most absurd sight of the day is courtesy of Dylan Mulvaney. Yesterday, Dylan celebrated “365 Days of Girlhood” by dressing like a girl and putting on a musical at the Rainbow Room in New York. Dylan even gave the Daily Wire crew a shoutout at the end.

CANDACE OWENS

Candace Owens discusses Dylan Mulvaney’s celebration of “day 365 of ‘girlhood'” with a strange variety show that included me and the other Daily Wire hosts. What an honor. (Full Candace Owens episode HERE)

A Whistleblower Reveals What’s Going On Inside Gender Transition Clinics

Today on the Matt Walsh Show, a whistleblower from inside the child gender transition industry has finally come forward and what she reveals is horrifying. I’ll walk you through the whole story today. Also, a congressional Democrat learns that the old “yelling fire in a crowded theater” trope is not actually a valid argument against free speech. I have one more clip that you haven’t seen yet from that now infamous committee hearing in Tennessee. Plus, reports suggest that Project Veritas is trying to push James O’Keefe out, even though James O’Keefe is Project Veritas. In our Daily Cancellation, Vice holds a panel discussion on race. One guy with common sense made it onto the panel, and proceeded to offend and terrify the rest of them.

Jordan Peterson Calls Out Disney Exec’s Lies About Kids

(THUMBNAIL: Saturn Devouring His Son by Francisco Goya)

Clay Travis and Buck Sexton react to Jordan Peterson’s message on the narcissism surrounding progressive parents virtue signaling through their children. Peterson talks about the odds of having both transgender and pansexual children, a claim made by a Disney executive a few months ago. What are the odds that one person could have two children of these varying identities compared to the odds of the mother just attempting to look virtuous to her progressive cohorts. Clay and Buck build on Jordan Peterson’s message and how the woke left is preying on kids.

Here is the fuller video of Peterson’s visit to the Joe Rogan Show:

JORDAN PETERSON ON THE DEVOURING MOTHER

In related “news,” two “devouring mothers” raising a boy. (I say that not meaning any ill-intent to these two women. They are fooled like many other progressive left persons by this vile [leftist] train of thinking. Worldviews matter.) Hat-tip top THE BLAZE! DAILY WIRE! and OFF THE PRESS!

In this episode, we speak to Rose, the mother of two boys, who has asked to remain anonymous.

I was a true believer.

I was a social justice organizer and facilitator before social justice overtook the world. I was on the forefront, introducing the concept of intersectionality to progressive organizations, and having people share their pronouns. My friends and I felt we were the cool kids, the vanguard of revolutionary work to change the world, to achieve what people in the social justice movement call “collective liberation.” I was deeply committed to the work of creating another world that was possible.

Within this context, I came out as a lesbian, and identified as queer. And then I fell in love, entered a committed relationship with my spouse, and gave birth to our first son. Two years later, my partner gave birth to our second son. Having children, and experiencing the absolutely life changing love and devotion to them, was a game changer for me. And it was when, to quote Helen Joyce’s subtitle, ideology began to meet reality.

I immediately began to feel the tensions inside of me between what I felt intuitively and instinctively as a mother, and what I “should” be doing as a white anti-racist social justice parent. Because of my own experiences of perceived victimhood with my own parents’ rejection of my sexuality, I wanted to make sure I would honor my children’s “authentic selves.” I was primed to look for any clues that might suggest they could be transgender.

We raised both our sons as gender neutral as possible, with gender neutral clothes, toys, and language. While we did use he/him pronouns and others in their life called them boys, we did not call them boys, or even tell them that they were boys. We made all language gender neutral. In everyday reading of books or descriptions of people in our lives, we did not say “man” or “woman,” we said “people.” We thought we were doing the right and best thing, both for them and for the world.

At an early age, we noticed that our first son was a bit different. He was highly sensitive, and was extremely gifted. By about three years old, he started to orient more toward the females in his life than the males. Since he did not have the language, he would say, “I like the mamas.” Some of this difference we started to attribute to possibly being transgender. Instead of orienting him to the reality of his biological sex by telling him he was a boy, we wanted him to tell us if he felt he was a boy or a girl. As true believers, we thought that he could be transgender, and that we were to “follow his lead” to determine his true identity.

At the same time that this ideology was shaping my view of my son, I was also taking a very deep dive into attachment and child development. This opened my eyes to understanding the nature of attachment as hierarchical, and the fact that parents, not children, are meant to be in the lead. I began to struggle with the conflict between putting my child in the lead on gender and my deepening knowledge of my responsibility to lead and orient my child. Sadly, my commitment to ideology had the upper hand.

At around four years old, my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl. Instead of telling him he was a boy, I told him he could choose. I didn’t use those words—I thought I could be more sophisticated than that. I told him, “When babies are born with a penis, they are called boys, and when babies are born with a vagina, they are called girls.  But some babies who are born with a penis can be girls, and some babies born with a vagina can be boys. It all depends on what you feel deep inside.” He continued to ask me what he was, and I continued to repeat these lines. I resolved my inner conflict by “leading” my son with this framework—you can be born with a penis, but still be a girl inside. I thought I was doing the right thing, for him, and for the world.

His question, and my response to it, would come back to haunt me for years, and continues to haunt me now. What I know now is that I was “leading”—I was leading my innocent, sensitive child down a path of lies that were a direct on-ramp to psychological damage and life-long irreversible medical intervention. All in the name of love, acceptance, and liberation.

About six months after my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl, he told my spouse that he was a girl, and wanted to be called sister, and she/her. I received a text message about this at work. On the way home that night, I resolved I would have to put all my own feelings away, and support my transgender child. And that is what I did.

With this one declaration, after months of refusing to tell our son he was a boy, we changed his entire world. We told him he could be a girl. He jumped up and down on the bed, happy, saying, “I’m a girl, I’m a girl!” (What a relief it must have been to him to actually have an identity to hold on to!). We, not him, initiated changing his name. We socially transitioned him, and enforced this transition with his younger brother, who was only two years old at the time and who could barely pronounce his older brother’s real name.

When I look back at this, it is almost too much to write about. The grief and the shock of what we did is so deep, so wide, so sharp and penetrating. How could a mother do this to her child?  To her children? I truly believed that what I was doing was pure, right and good, only to later realize with horror what it could have lead to for my child. This horror still shakes me to my core.

It will not surprise readers of this site to hear that once we made the decision to socially transition our son, we received resounding praise and affirmation from most of our peers. One of my friends who had also socially transitioned her young child assured me that social transition was a healthy, neutral way of allowing children to “explore” their gender identity before puberty, when decisions would need to be made about puberty blockers and hormones. We sought out support groups for parents of transgender children where we went to find out if we had “done the right thing.”  After all, our son showed no signs of actual gender dysphoria—was he actually transgender? At these support groups we were told what good parents we were. How kids on the autism spectrum (which he likely is), simply “know” they are transgender earlier than other kids.

At one of the support groups we attended, we were also told that transgender identity takes a few years to develop in children. They told us that during this period, it is very important to protect the child’s transgender identity, and therefore, you must eliminate contact with any family or friends who do not support this identity or go along with it. Yes, the gender therapist running this parent support group said this, and at the time, I believed her. Looking back, I now see this in a shockingly different light: this was an intentional process of concretizing transgender identity in children as young as 3 years old – the age of the youngest child in this group. When identity is concretized at this young of age, children will grow up actually believing they are the opposite sex. How could medicalization not follow?

The therapist also employed the same script that many adolescents use on their parents, helping parents of transgender children script letters to grandparents, aunts and uncles to declare a child’s transgender identity, and make conditions of engagement clear – you must use the name and pronouns, and embrace the new identity, or you will not have contact with the child…….

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