There were a lot of long faces at Fox News Tuesday night, but there’s a silver lining for Sen. Marco Rubio. Now he can go be a bartender like his dad! (Have you heard him tell the story about his father being a bartender? Rubio was his pop’s best customer after the debate.)
He can wear a flowered shirt, tell yarns about his father, and if he’s asked to make any complicated concoctions: JEB CAN FIX IT!
Gov. Chris Christie will always be remembered for the noble service he performed for his country Saturday night. He must have known his campaign wasn’t lighting the world on fire, but he was damned if he was going to stand by and let that pretty-boy mountebank win.
Christie smacked Rubio down at the GOP debate by dramatically exposing the fact that Rubio’s only skill is a weird ability to regurgitate “the memorized 25-second speech that is exactly what his advisers gave him” — as the governor memorably put it.
In a surprising move, Rubio responded by regurgitating the memorized 25-second speech that was exactly what his advisers gave him. And then he did it again three more times.
This is what Rubio said, all within about 3 minutes:
(1) “But I would add this. Let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing. He is trying to change this country.”
(2) “And let’s dispel once and for all with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”
(3) “Here’s the bottom line. This notion that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing is just not true. He knows exactly what he’s doing.”
(4) “I think this notion — I think this is an important point. We have to understand what we’re going through here. We are not facing a president that doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows what he is doing. That’s why he’s done the things he’s done.”
Far from “an important point,” it’s an incredibly boring point: The president knows what he’s doing! But Rubio kept pounding out the words as if he were announcing the theory of relativity…..