SKITS: Nightmare In Paradise | 3-year Old Chooses Gender

MOONBATTERY hat-tip:

  • A recent arrival from Kansas learns what it is like to run a business in the People’s Republic of California…. You can see why the pathologically despotic Michael Bloomberg sees hyper-regulated California as a model to emulate. You can also see why moving vans tend to be full when they leave California and empty when they return. But the Third World still keeps the state’s population growing, if slowly.

Another skit where a 3-years old “chooses” his gender:

Too Funny! A Russian Turns a Wrench ~ Hilarity Ensues

Took me two years, but I found the video again!

...Context

Some of the comments below included LADA references. LADA was a car manufactured during the Soviet days and was a miserable failure but a prime example of socialism versus free market ideals.

  • I didn’t know they had unions over there.
  • Should’ve used a hammer
  • Borat’s retarded cousin Bylo finally found a job. Great success!
  • Hey they need him on the F 35 project.
  • Must be cold there, his nuts have shrunk.
  • This is called teasing the bolt. Standard practice if the bolt is playing hard to get.
  • Come on, we all do that sometimes. pretend to do work at work
  • With wodka, you never have to worry about selecting the right size tool.
  • He’s going nuts with that bolt.
  • Must be a mechanic from F&R Auto Sales
  • Its like a Greek Tragedy. The train that was never finished and to this day the worker toils away.
  • “220…..221…whatever it takes.” ~ “I like his can-do attitude, lets hire him full-time.”
  • Poor Russia, can’t afford to buy right size wrench, so sad.
  • That bolt will take about two weeks to get tightened.
  • Pfft! anyone can see he needs a 7/16 whitworth spanner.
  • The whole thing is made of paper mache and tape.
  • I’ve got an entire set of wrenches with the same problem… I was vainly hoping this video would help me figure out what the hell’s wrong with ’em.
  • When I was in engineering I was taught that on the first day….walk around with a spanner and look busy
  • They will promote that one to management.
  • It’s a new iterative technique. You start with the largest wrench and if after 10 minutes it doesn’t meet resistance then you drop down a size and repeat.
  • They pretend to pay him so he pretends to work
  • Tomorrow he will find the right spanner for the wrong bolt.
  • He’s just warming the bolt up before tightening it.
  • He was the head A&P mechanic on Flight MH370.
  • 5 minutes ago he was sweeping the floor …good job Comrade!
  • I knew Sputnik was Fake!!!
  • Its a dying trade — the bluffer; not many of us left.
  • A master craftsman – it literally takes a lifetime to get to that skill level.
  • Laid off from the Lada factory, now he works there.
  • He was just using the wrong side.
  • Russian Spanner, French [Bolt].
  • new type or round bolts invented by Wladimir Wladimirowicz Putin
  • What a scam! During the close up, you can clearly see he flips the wrench the WRONG WAY!!
  • “Ill see you next week Yuri! Im off for a cuppa.”
  • Almost had it there buddy… try again.
  • Like a glove!
  • Is that the Lada factory?

Funny Spoof On Jussie Smollett Rehearsing Attack (LOL)

(CAUTION, LANGUAGE WARNING)

IDRISS-TV has #GayTupac as a hashtag. In case you don’t know that he said this (partly in jest), here it is. Enjoy this funny bit on Smollett’s rehearsal

FRONT PAGE MAGAZINE has a great article summing up the issue:

Manqué cineaste Simon Lynxx needs to raise money for his film, so he pays two black friends to mug elderly movie mogul Hermann Wolff, so Lynxx can rescue him and get cash out of gratitude. That’s from Take Fivea D. Keith Mano novel released in 1982, the year actor Jussie Smollett was born.

Nearly four decades later, Smollett is an actor in the Fox series Empire, centered on hip-hop artist Lucious Lyon, CEO of Empire Entertainment. In real life, not on the show, Smollett sends a threatening letter to himself showing a noose, then pays two black friends to attack him in Chicago, which they proclaim is “MAGA country!”

The pair beat Smollett and string a rope around his neck while yelling racist and homophobic slurs. Smollett somehow escapes unscathed. The tale soon unraveled, and as Chicago Police Superintendent Eddie Johnson put it, Jussie Smollett “paid $3,500 to stage this attack

[WITH A CHECK!]

…The stunt was orchestrated by Smollett because he was dissatisfied with his salary,” reportedly more than $1 million per year before taxes.

Smollett paid the $3,500 to Abel Osundairo, his personal trainer, and Ola Osundairo, a former extra on Empire. Police have the check and a video shows the pair buying the masks. The story was less credible than Al Sharpton’s Tawana Brawley hoax, but Smollett cast himself as a Trump victim. So right from the start leftist Democrats were all in.

“The vicious attack on actor Jussie Smollett was an attempted modern-day lynching,” proclaimed Cory Booker. “I’m glad he’s safe.” In similar style, fellow presidential candidate Kamala Harris tagged the attack a “modern day lynching.”  Green New Dealer Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who believe walls are immoral, called it a “racist, homophobic attack.” The media echo chamber also chimed in.

On February 14 Robin Roberts interviewed Smollett on “Good Morning America.” Smollett contended he was a victim and did not orchestrate the alleged attack. According to Roberts, “It’s a setback for race relations, homophobia, MAGA supporters. I cannot think of another case where there is this anger on so many sides and you can understand why there would be.”

Yet as the story unraveled, Smollett’s siblings blamed the media……….

SNL Predicted Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (Updated)

SNL didn’t realize it, but this skit from 2013 is prophetic. They could do this skit over with minor tweaks to represent Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Soo funny:


EXAMPLES


Before Congresswoman

After Congresswoman

Getch-yur POPCORN/PEANUTES Here!! (Antifa Edition)

(Language Warning)

THE DAILY CALLER caught up with Gesualdi, who says his experiences reveal how humorless the Antifa protesters are and how dangerous they can be — especially when there are no alt-right protesters for them to fight against.”

Here is Gesualdi’s “Hitler Rap” put to a beat:

More from the DC:

….“As a comedian I am obviously a big free speech advocate, which is why this recent wave of protests bother me,” he says. “Though most of the protesters have good intentions and show up simply looking to exercise their free speech rights, many come for the sole purpose of starting fights and causing destruction. That’s not how we solve problems in America.”

“What I do is bring a bit of absurdism to the venue, to hopefully keep things lighthearted while also showing how ridiculous it is to characterize these protests as if they are the battlegrounds of a civil war,” says the comedian. “These kids may think they are badass street soldiers fighting against the forces of evil, but it’s hard to maintain that narrative when you’re being heckled by a peanut vendor.”

Gesualdi says that unlike the last time, the protest site was “almost devoid” of right-wing voices, many of whom were chased off by the large Antifa turnout, or because they were warned not to go by the organizer.

“I saw one group of people being chased into the police station by a group of leftists,” he says. “There’s actually a great video of this on LiveLeak, which pans over to me hawking my wares.”

The comedian says that the normal Berkeley protest crowd was peaceful, with “lots of people laughing, asking for pictures, etc.” A trio of Juggalos — fans of Insane Clown Posse — even treated Gesualdi to a bottle of Faygo and he got to sing along to “I’m Gonna Let It Shine” with older hippies.

“It was only when I got too close to the Antifa camp that things started to go south,” he says, describing how he was attacked by two separate black-clad groups.

“One group of Antifa-types took issue with the tiny American flags attached my vendor’s tray of snacks,” he described footage that was captured on his video. “Declaring them symbols of colonialism and white supremacy, they ripped them off and burned them in front of me. I was surprised they were so brazen about it, and parts of the crowd even cheered as the flags burned.”

Gesualdi was confronted by another set of Antifa later on in the day, when one of them declared him a “troll” and encouraged the group to accost him. “Knowing this could end badly I attempted to walk away from the situation, but they followed behind, ringing a cowbell for some reason. Very intimidating.”

He speculates that the reason he was targeted was because few right-wing voices had come out for them to attack, so they were happy to go after him. “They lobbed some rotten tomatoes at me, but thankfully, none of them could throw worth a damn. They blared rape whistles in my ear and got some tomato juice on my shirt, but stormed off in anger when I just ignored their nonsense and kept trying to sell them bags of popcorn.”

Gesualdi says that what really surprised him about the protest was how many people there were going on about the “evils of capitalism.”

“They seemed too much like a stereotype of the classic clueless communist who knows capitalism is evil but isn’t really sure why,” he says. “One young man tried seriously explaining to me that people didn’t want to pay because they were socialist, though I actually had commenters from socialist countries tell me that of course they pay for their food and that kid was a clueless idiot.”

“Others told me to cease my selling and ‘seize the means of production.’ I will have to look into seeing if the state is willing to acquire me a free peanut factory.”

Gesualdi says he won’t let the bad experience deter him from going to future rallies if it allows him to keep exposing their absurdity, but he worries that Antifa will paint a target on his back if he becomes a regular face.

“The Berkeley police were nowhere to be seen on both occasions I’ve gone and I honestly believe it’s only a matter of time before someone gets killed at one of these things,” he says.